I am fed up with my consistent falling. The landing is painful. You would think that when you get into sexual issues with someone you love it would draw you near to each other. Its the opposite to draws away from each other. More lonely than i was before i made the decision to walk against the grain. Co habitation , premarital sex and extramarital sex are just teases of the real thing. No matter how much you want to think that all of these things will peel back the layers of connection that are thrown up. Nothing will ever match marriage. The act of God binding two people to become one person that serves him. Moves in unity and complete and utter obedience and awareness of all around them.
I imagine the person i am making us is someone who wont even move just look like he will.
I was made for more than this. I am not taking down. This is not it. I am not about this life. It time to kiss it goodbye.
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