More and More and More

Here in these moments I find myself sort of complacent and some what doubtful. Not because I don't think God can do what he says he will do but more so because I cant see myself being successful at my endeavors. There is a lot going on. Its been a while since I last spoke with you, but since that last moment I lost my grand father, my wife miscarried, I got a promotion and I moved. Adjustments! It seems like my life is a giant adjustment right now. However I was listening to a YouTube video made by Mali Music and it opened my eyes. He starts out by saying handle with patience, handle with care. It seems like I spent a lot of my time this past year being reckless not in my action but with my life. I often don't take time to stop and smell the roses. I get so angry about how things are going until I am not grateful for the things that are going right. This walk is all you got so make it count please Were headed back to the creator of life so make him happy No time to regret the past or live in sorrow Only time to expect the glory of your tomorrow... My a word needs to be anticipation not adjustment. Adjustment is what I do and anticipation is what I need to feel. There is a package waiting for me. An opportunity to find purpose in each moment a chance to seize the moment. While listening to this song I find myself reflecting to all the moments that my grandfather shared with us, I remember how present he was however skewed that may have been by alcohol. He was there and he was with us to the best of his ability. Perhaps the reason why I respect my grandfather so much is the same reason why the song touches me so much is because my grandfather started off disadvantaged but he wrapped his arms around his life and did the best with it he could. " Life is a gift, open it up and see what there for you" " Life is a story, follow the author and see he cares for you." " Life is love, with every breath we are celebrating it." " Life is a hug, embrace it back." So more and more and more can keep coming, my agreement is that I will wrap my arms around it and take it.

Annication

So I am kind of excited that I have the opportunity to say this. I am married and I am looking to set up something nice for my wife here in the next few weeks for a anniversary and vacation. I call it annication for that reason. So far this what I got. The theme of our week is staycation there will be something to do everyday leading up to our culumination at great wolf lodge. Monday - Monday night movie madness...I am going to get four of our favorite movies and then we are going to catch a movie at the movie theater. Tuesday - A more laid back day we are going to make this a day out.... we are going to go the park and enjoy some picnic food. Following that we are going to do some finger painting. Wednesday - Train trip on scenic railroad and on wednesday night we are going to get a room somewhere near downtown Thursday - A day downtwon to experience different parts of the city using the trolly system. Friday - Lazy day maybe go to the park again but just enjoy relaxing Saturday - Off to Great Wolf Lodge - Lunch at Ryans Sunday - Morning swim - Early departure home.

I really do miss you

Hey Grandpa! I was at the house the other day I was thinking about you. I am sort of angry at the fact I could have you there with me at my wedding to Raven. It was just so much to take in at one moment. I am frustrated at where I am in my life not in a way as to say I am grateful though it could be read that way. I guess what I really want to say is I miss you a lot. It is still very surreal that you are gone from me. I kind of feel like Patrick when he said " I just want to hear him say whatevers one more time." Its just that I have always wanted very much to make sure that I pleased you. You were a man I looking up to when I was just going about my way. I don't even want to go on the rant about why you died. It will all end the fact that you are gone and I just have adjust. I guess ultimately I just want you to know that I look up to you and appreciate you for all you did for me. For reaching out and helping me see the simpler side of life. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to get know you. I really want to be sure that I live a life that honors the legacy you left for us. Not for us but for me.