I have had enough of this constant up and down in life. The constant wondering if my loss of self control is enough to uproot that which is pure. The true remains is that it does and is. I have managed to mar my own future and tarnish it enough to not believe in it. Jesus said that anything is possible to those who believe.
Empty am i, here i stand open hands with both blood and offering. The blood staining the offering. Vanity vanity vanity all is vain. There lies a hope outside of my own perception of my life. A redeeming love that is willing to cleanse me, willing to set me right and keep me. But there remains a blockage of my own making.
So i am letting go and plunging head first into whatever it takes for me to leave this life of sin. Leave this constant choosing of wrong because right seems "too Hard". All to live a life of destruction which is very easy. Why is destruction at my fingertips? And glorifcation just outside my grasp?
Mine eyes have not truly seen of that which needs to be seen. So i am letting go. I am letting go of this old world it has nothing for me but empty promises and false highs. Im betraying this world for my savior.
I will spend the balance of my life chasing after Him.
This world is in and of itself very beautiful and holds many potentially the work for both our benefit and our detrmint but those forces that are mean to purpose evil and meant to purpose good are only tap into when the choice is made i choose to live.
Goodbye struggles I choose to live.
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