Here it is late about 12:10. Im up just reflecting on my life.
I dont know i have just been in that mode. The so many things i am unsure of. Im unsure of my future, what will be in it, who will be in it and what it will be.

Upon my struggle to identify what it will be i came to an understanding.
You can easily define a future with out a person. Or remember your past and forget some important people who were instrumental in your development. Or even forget to thank the people involve in your success right now but what you cant do is say your existence with out Jesus Christ. At least for me that is. I can not think of the life i would have led without him, Or how life would be without him, or how bad it would be if i didnt have him now. The reality of this whole understanding is my future really doesn't belong to me. I'm just an instrument that God wants to use to his glory and to everyone's benefit. It would seem a bit nilistic to say this but if we were to line fact. If you know how much God has done for me and how he has equipped me to be who i am and how i am it would make complete sense.

It doesnt mean that my will is null and void. Its just means that the options that are left do not fit. I am made for what i do. The struggle and suffering in between is between me doing what i know does not work and finding what i do.

Whatever the case maybe my soul is satisfied with what God has for me because he loves me.