I was recently having a conversation with my lady about being married and she said something that disturbed me. " It's not that i want to impress you, i just want to be as close to perfect as possible." Who am i that she needs to change who she is JUST to love me? How fair that she cannot accept herself the way she is before we can talk about a life long commitment. I need to learn how to love the way my father loves. He doesn't love me because he made me his. He loved me when i was in oppositioin to Him. He yet loved me when i sin against Him. He holds avenues to which i can get better. If He can love me that way then i can love her similar to that. I need to learn to love the way he wants me to. I cant go on living like this wherein people must change in order for me to content with their actions before me like i am the heaven father. I am far from and I am far closer to the same playing feild then she thinks and i hope that i can correct this grave error before its too late.
Thank you Lord for allowing me to see this. Now i need your power to walk me through this. You said you would never leave me nor forsake me, so i ask you to lead me and guide me into all truth specifically as it concerns relationships. i dont know how to love. If i do possess this knowledge my ablilty to express this love is shabby more imperfect than i can percieve. Lord i need you to show me how you want this done. Just as i need you to know how to live. I put my trust you and you are my refuge and my shelter.
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