Long ago i accepted Christ as my Lord and savior and didnt know what i was getting myself into. I knew that life would be different but i didnt have a clue that it would be this different. It has been 12 years since i chose to follow Jesus. Every years has bought with a challenge for me to conquer and heretofore i have ,by the power of God, conquered all. This time however in my early 20's i find myself in place that is not a challenge to my faith as it is a test. Which i dont believe has ever happened to me not atleast in this way. I am face to face with the very philospohical challenges to my faith. Questions like what happens to babies, people with mental retardations when they die do they go to hell? The question has been tentaviely answer as no. Jesus' sacrifice is far reaching. I am inclined to believe this is true. However the fact that very exist our experience this kinds of random order questions. My feeling now is not of the that particular intrest but it is in the truly knowing God.
In this is where my heart is troubled for good reasons. I believe that the lord has alotted me the opportunity to step away into the desert place with just him and i alone. I believe there is much to dicuss and much to be had in this time. From what here about it is quite the doozy for the persons physical body. Simple because it is a spirtual process. Im cutting off the TV and doing only the necessary. This time of seperation, i believe is necessary to come to the proper posture in Christ and that is leaning. Oh to lean on the savior and take him at his word. Nothing in my mind must be greater than his voice than his words, than his spirit than his philospohy on life.
This time will certainly unviel the false things i am believeing about Christ and the way he works. Surely i will be fortified and pressed into my destiny. This place is for me and for me alone. In this i rejoice and at this i weep. Because it spell death for everything that is not like HIM. My rejoicing is complete. I weep because it is at time of death.
Hebrews 12:1-3
1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
It is in these things will i mediate as i wait on the lord.
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