Somewhere between doing what I am suppose to do and recieveing the benefits/consquences I fell of and somehow I haven't been doing my part. I have not been responsible and mature. I have not been wise or thoughtful. I have been compulsory and self fish. I think it may have costed something valuable. I pray it didnt.
At this point to pray is not null and void effort it is to apply what i know to be true. It is to get down to the knitty gritty and work on this kat, y'all cant see. The heart is deceitfully wicked man it is wicked. Man how i need a savior.
Thank God for Jesus.
The time is nigh and hour draws close.
His face has he called me to seek.
His voice i did not heed.
The pain will not recede
The anger will not retreat.
The shame if it be will not be any less.
The attention will cause stress.
None the less the praise will continue
The worship will not be hinder.
The life will be surrender.
The fact remains that its not over.
Just that part its over.
Whether or not if its true.
Its over...and unlike other i have a clue.
The plans will be made.
The move will be set.
The best jobs ill set out to get.
The motivation must be right.
Because its difficult enough to do one thing wrong.
Both cannot be. One is enough.
Enough is enough.
Lord come in and be my savior.
It seems its too late for that.
I guess i should sit back and watch the show that it attracts.
Proactivity is preventive.
Deactivity best when is during the event.
Lord since you already saved me.
Please keep me...
Through this suffering.
Its self made but i believe you said you would be with me
What about if i wasn't with you.
Unconsciously putting this claim to the test.
Just to see if it is true.
I trust you but show me how.
Show me how to put my hands up my cares lay them down.
Show me my spirit how to bow and my hush my soul with out a sound.
Give me the moment i so desperately long for.
All i have to give is the broken body, broken spirit and broken heart for it.
Cause the truth is never really trusted you.
I just kind of knew it.
I never really wanted you I wanted what you can do.
What makes this time any different.
Is the nail prints that you took for love sake.
The vinegar you sucked through a sponged put at the stake.
The spear poked in your side, flowing for that water and blood.
The seeping blood from the scars made for my sins and inquity, that gave me healing.
The whole of your sacrifice set in front of my face.
Forgive me.
I'm sorry and i could understand if you decided that this was it.
Besides you did what you promised to do. You fulfilled your end of the bargain.
Your Son
Steven Jr.
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