Nevertheless....Not my will but thy will be done.

Man sometimes I think to myself how stupid of me to make that same mistake. Dude if you are going to get in trouble do it in a way that will atleast keep you out of more trouble. But in a way things like this need to happen so you can see yourself. But its mind bloggling how quickly you can forget the mistakes that you just made.

Nevertheless I see that it is an occassion for me to blame the people around me and circumstances that got me into that situation. When in fact the blame goes to me. I knew that fire would be hot and like a silly one i figure let me see if it will not consume me. But it will be a cold day in hell when i blame the one that loves me more than i love myself for what i have done wrong.

I take the blame for what happened and you get the glory for being good enough to me to tell me it was wrong before i did it. Jesus you still get the glory for being my provider in the midst of precieved trouble and my provider in the time of precieved lack. I will not complain, i will not blame you i will accept the consquences that come to me.

I will take the cup of my self caused troubles and drink. In silence will i greive my stupidy and in a loud voice will i praise you for your unlimited grace and mercy. My actions thereafter will be in open thanks to what you have done for me. My life will be a testimony to you keeping power and you will be the sustenance. My suffering will show your justice. My angst will not be the end of me but the beginning of the true knowledge of you my savior.

My confidence me has been shaken as it should have been. My confidence you i must place, both can not coexist. It must be your spirit not my flesh. The bible declares woe to the man who trust in the arm of the flesh. You make me new and you make me to know your peace. I admit my sins and i admit that you are the answer. Not your provision or even your peace but you.

So again I accept you as my answer, as my truth, as my relevant reality.
Nevertheless not my will but yours be done. Keep my according to your word that you will be righteous when you judge and just when you choose how this works out. I trust you. I trust you. In you I trust.

Thank you and I love you for seeing me this far and you will lead me on. Thank you.